Frustrations

Before I continue with any more food I thought it was about time I sat down and exposed myself.

I've tried to keep this blog strictly about baking and not get myself too involved. But I can't. The blog looks empty, void, cold and distant.

I am...

a nurse. I was born and raised in Singapore. It's a tropical country where crime rates are mighty low, standard of living is pretty high and my life is pretty cushy. I am actually a British Citizen cos my parents met in the UK, got married and came back to where my father is from - Singapore.

Yes, it's been a bit of an identity crisis such that I wasn't even sure if I was a Singapore Citizen at the age of 14. Should I sing the national anthem? Should I place my fisted right hand over my heart and recite the pledge? But then again, Singapore is home. And I've been singing the national anthem and saying the pledge with great gusto for as long as I can remember! Don't get me wrong, I am terribly proud of my cultural heritage including being English. And, if I could be so bold, I'd say that it's the English part of my that sparked and continues to fan into flame my passion for baking.

I am a State Registered Nurse in Singapore and have been working for almost 2 years. Unfortunately I don't really enjoy the job of a nurse. I love nursing, just not the job and all the red tape that comes with it. This is where food comes into play. (: It's nice to bake. I love baking. The stirring, sieving, spreading, beating, melting, cutting, and so much more. To watch something beautiful and yummy come together makes me feel all wonderful! And as shy as compliments make me, it's great to know when I've done well with those eggs. (:

Baking in Singapore is a great challenge. Food I usually desire and require for baking comes at a larger cost here than it probably would in western countries. Strawberries for example are a luxury and one doesn't just go out and buy a ton for fun. Recently I've been stumbling on recipes that call for rhubarb but one stalk would probably just cost the earth here! A great baker would find alternatives suited for their needs. I am striving to reach that level of improvisation.

Now, a touchy topic, money. I try very hard not to ponder on this topic and usually toss bags of flour or sugar into my shopping basket with a quick glance at the price label. I try to comfort myself by saying baking for me is like a shopping spree for others, but when one is trying desperately to save for a future, family, life or something, that excuse doesn't always cut it.

More often than not, I try to find events, birthdays and such, to bake for friends and family. This makes for a perfect excuse I feel! Yes, I have thought of selling my baked goods. Honestly, I feel like I'm far from making anything marketable. But that is only one concern. For those who have lived or visited Singapore, you might have observed that bakeries are in abundance here. No, not like high end bakeries and such. We have these neighborhood bakeries where they sell fluffy cakes and bread at unexplainable cheap prices! I know, they taste nothing like something from Cedele, Da Paolo, even Starbucks, Coffee Club and CBTL and such, but watching the bakers in those bakeries make me cringe. I feel like some small fry. Who one earth will pay a cent for my stuff? Does anyone even want to buy cake?

So here I am

Amy Ruth Tan.

The Nurse.

The Baker.

Me.

Adora, a wonderful girlfriend, and me. (:

Love,

Amy.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6